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- For those lucky people who made it along to the Atari show in
- Birmingham, back in the mists of September, they may have noticed that
- proudly displayed on one of the stands was a pile of Atari
- Calculators. Yes calculators. Yes made by Atari.. Oh why do I feel
- my heart beginning to sink already?
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Here follows a Review of the official Atari 'Auto Recall Calculator',
- (yes it DOES exist, no we are not making this up, it's not April yet)
- for people who REALLY have nothing better to do.
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- You were warned...
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-
- I fully own up to being a sad Atari fanatic, and as all such
- people, could not resist the temptation to complete my range of Atari
- products (although the Atari Toaster and Atari Luxury Foot Spar are
- noticeable gaps in my collection - as is the Atari Microbox, Phenix,
- Virtuality Helmet, Jaguar II (we get the point -Ed)...) by purchasing
- the said piece of hardware. No, it was not just because the case had
- a little silver Atari logo and Fuji on it, I did really need a
- calculator. I did! Honest. Well.. okay, it was because it had a
- nice silvery logo, but aw.. come on, admit it, you want it too don't
- you! I can hear you drooling over the very idea of being able to whip
- out a pocket-sized Atari machine, to hold in the very palm of your
- hand as you stand in the bank queue nochalantly pretending to be
- working out the non-existent profit, you haven't made, from your
- imaginary shares..
-
- So on to the aesthetic appeal of the Atari 'Auto Recall'
- Calculator (with 32-Step Memory Playback). There is no beating about
- the bush: (or the Bodin) this Calculator is attractively packaged.
- Some might say seductively so, if they were party to the knowledge of
- just how susceptible all Atari owners are to anything bearing their
- favourite five letter name & accompanying symbol. The cardboard
- packet boasts a large, multicoloured logo emblazoned over a textured
- Çstone background. The machine itself is rather dwarfed by the visual
- qualities of its surroundings, being typically predominantly GREY in
- colour, with perhaps the odd highlight of dove grey, as well as a
- little charcoal grey and the possibility of some stone grey creeping
- in around the edges.. A swift comparison of the Calculator's grey to
- my Falcon's grey reveals that it is not in fact the same shade.. in
- fact, even more interestingly, not one of the three greys located on
- the calc corresponded with the dual greys of my Falc.. (ENOUGH on the
- subject of grey. The writing is in danger of taking on the same shade
- I think -Ed).
-
- One feature which makes the exterior of the calc recognisably
- Atari (apart from the logo) is a small line of rhombuses which look
- suspiciously like function keys. However they are only 'background
- graphics' and were probably included to reassure the Atari owner that
- he/she has invested in a genuine Atari product.
-
- The number pad is similar to the standard numerical keypad found
- on STs & Falcs, but the really innovative, original, enterprising
- design idea, is that while the '=' button is the same size as the
- numbers, i.e. small, the '+' button is huge and monopolizes a vast
- area of the 'keyboard', so it is easy to assume that it is in fact the
- '=' button. Added to this, your finger always seems to encounter a
- corner of it whatever its intended destination and thus, by a
- combination of arse-design and even arser-design, mathematical chaos
- ensues.. cheers Alastair, you always did come up with the good ideas
-
- - Atari Landmines wasn't it?
-
- A mention must be made of the buttons themselves which make the
- Spectrum 48K's Rubber Keys seem like an achingly blissful utopia and
- not the hammer-horror (in the literal sense) that they actually were.
- Spongy just doesn't begin to describe these guys. As unresponsive as
- an Atari mouse would be a good start..
-
- When I managed to turn my calc on, after several unsuccessful
- depressions of the 'On' button, the LCD was suspiciously faint and
- Çflickery and made me wonder whether these calculators had been sitting
- around in a warehouse for ten odd years after their initial release
- date, (to make sure the market was ready for them - the nostalgia
- market that is) with the batteries quietly leaking away. Or, more
- realistically, sitting under several tonnes of sand out in the Nevada
- dessert - Warehouses! what was I thinking of!
-
- The calc comes with its own little case, a slim black number,
- carrying the aforementioned silver name-tag. Pretty neat you may be
- thinking as your brain conjures up images of sleek, supple cases
- moulding themselves around the machine as a glove fits a hand. But
- you would be OH SO wrong. On attempting to put my calc in its case I
- find that it doesn't fit and a good centimetre protrudes out of the
- top. Add to this the fact that the logo has been printed on the
- back.. and you begin to get the picture of just how 'made in Taiwan'
- it is.
-
- But as was previously mentioned, this is not just any old piece
- of junk calculator. It is an 'Auto Recall Calculator' which means
- that you can recall each step of your equation, thus if you inputted
- the following: '3 + 5 - 8 x 2 =', the number [faintly] displayed at
- the close would be '0', but you could then press the special recall
- buttons to go back through the steps of your equation and you would be
- treated to this sequence: replay 5: '=', replay 4: '2 x', replay 3: '8
- -', replay 2: '5 +', replay 1: '3'. Wow. What a function. Well
- worth the 3 whatever I paid for it.
-
- So there we have it. Atari. They can't even make a decent
- calculator.. but we'll forgive them. And defend them. And boast
- about what amazing calculators they make, embroidering extensively and
- exaggerating eccentrically the usefulness and originally of 'Auto
- Recall', with its 32-step memory playback.
-
- But then how can we not love their bungling, endearing ways!
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